Martina's Baby Kangaroo
by slenderpanda597
Summary: It's April Fools' Day and Martina, bored, decides to play a little prank on Billy. Little does she know, someone else is about to join in the fun... What will the consequences be?


(a/n - an April fool's day fic that will be uploaded after April fool's day. Drabble. Plotless rubbish. General stupidity. I don't own bread, the tv series, I do own bread, as in loaves of it. Anyway...,)

Martina's Baby Kangaroo

It was April the first, and Martina was bored. She had had enough of all of the bogus claims. She looked at the clock. It was only 10 o'clock. She groaned. How slow was the day going? She grimaced even further when Billy Boswell walked in. Then smirked. It was still before 12 o'clock on April fool's day, right?

"Next!"

"Eh, I need me money, me! I 'ave a wife an' kid to support, me!" the childish voice of Billy Boswell shouted. Martina smirked. Time to have some fun.

"And I have a baby kangaroo to support, me." she smiled.

"What? A baby kangaroo? They're illegal, they are, aren't they, Joe- he's not here! Aw I'm not ready for all this!" whimpered the babyish Boswell.

"I quite agree, your Joey is illegal, the amount of stuff he gets up to behind my back... And your family's." she added. She was enjoying this.

"You what?! Our Joey is your kangaroo? You what?! Naw, he can't be! Our Joey's a human. Ain't he? He is, right? And he's your kangaroo? What? OH I'M NOT READY FOR ALL OF THIS! I HAVE AN ESTRANGED WIFE TO DEAL WITH, YOU KNOW! AND A BABY!" after leaping to his feet, Billy stormed out of the DHSS. Martina smiled. Who knew that April fool's could be such fun?

Joey was cleaning his Jag when Billy appeared, moaning about something as usual. When he heard the word 'DHSS' though, Joey looked up.

"You what, son?" he asked.

"The nasty lady at the DHSS said that she had a baby kangaroo and that was you and she had to support you and that you were illegal and-"

"She would be correct son, she would be correct." Joey smiled. He wasn't too sure about what Martina had been saying, but if it was before 12 o'clock on April fool's day, he was happy to play along with her joke. He admired her sense of humour.

It was later on that day when Joey paid a visit to the DHSS. He had needed to buy a few things first. When he arrived, the place was empty, except for Martina, who was waiting for the few last minute claimants. Joey had frequently been there later, when there had been a family crisis to sort out first. Usually there was also the general riffraff from the pubs, who all wanted their allowance before the pubs shut, once they'd ran out of all they had.

Martina glanced up at the room, thinking she had heard the door. However, there wasn't a human in sight. Perched on the edge of her desk, however, was the cutest toy baby kangaroo she had ever seen. What was happening? Was somebody trying to bribe her? She was just pondering over this when a head appeared from where somebody had been crouched behind the desk.

"Greetings!" Joey smiled. Martina rolled her eyes. She should have known. "I believe I am your baby kangaroo" he smiled smugly, and nodded his head in the direction of the toy. Martina noticed a note that it was sat on. She carefully picked it up, wondering what new allowance scheme Joey could want now.

"Dearest and most loveliest Martina," she rolled her eyes. "I am your baby kangaroo, and it has come to my attention that I may be too much to handle. Therefore, if your wage won't cover all of my necessities, I would strongly recommend the Carer's Allowance - Well done, mister Boswell, another one you've found in this life long crossword of allowance schemes - or alternatively, you could find another joey who would be more than willing to pull his fair share of the load. Your baby kangaroo." Martina smiled. "Well then, mister Boswell, as I don't intend to milk the system dry, unlike some people" she glared in his direction, "I shall just have to find myself another joey."

"Ah, but sweetheart, you already have!" he declared, flinging his arms wide for effect.

"That is debatable."

"But you already told Billy."

"For an April fool."

"And I admire your wit, my dear."

"Well then, since I am shutting up now, why don't you prove that you can provide for me." she smirked.

"Alright then" he grinned like the Cheshire cat, and they both leaned in for their perfect moment...

Until Martina felt something stab between them. Looking down, the realised that the stuffed kangaroo was wedged between them, its glass eyes blinking cutely up at them in the light. They laughed.

"Obviously this young one needs to be back in the pouch away from adult behaviour, sunshine." Joey smiled. Martina nodded and placed the little kangaroo into her bag. It looked like her little joke had turned out well, after all, who wouldn't want their own Joey?

(a/n - so, what do you think? Sorry it is late but I've had a lot to do. Also, thanks to gypsy Rosalie for trying to give me a suitable allowance, although she couldn't find one that fit. In the end I just used a carer one which seemed appropriate. Why not? Anyway... Thanks for reading, and good luck to Torie Rilistkrycat in all of her exams!)


End file.
